Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Movie Review: Death Sentence

When I think of the hundreds of thousands of dollars I’ve been taxed over the past decade and what I’ve gotten in return from my government, I get angry. So when I saw a Kevin Bacon movie at the robovideo, that protrayed him as an angry white-collar guy with a shotgun, I paid my dollar.

Bacon plays the model father who gets pissed when a gang (white guys) cuts his son’s throat and is pronounced dead by a caring doctor (black guy). After going to the police (black lady), the perp will only get 3-5 years and Bacon takes the law into his own hands, killing his son’s murderer. The armed gang then threatens Bacon’s whole family with death.

Despite knowing that the gang is heavily armed, Bacon decides to guard his family with a baseball bat, and they are slaughtered in the living room. Bacon survives his wound and gets really angry. He brings cash into the underworld, and meets seedy people telling them he needs to buy guns (Bacon is hysterical at this point, grrrrr, guns bad).

He pays $5k for three pistols and a shotgun and then kills everybody. He should have bought a couple AK-47s with 40 round clips; he would not have needed to reload and would have saved $4k.

I’m disappointed that Kevin Bacon made such a stupid movie.

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