Saturday, June 30, 2007

Fellow Americans

"Throughout recorded time... there have been three kinds of people in the world, the High, the Middle, and the Low. They have been subdivided in many ways, they have borne countless different names, and their relative numbers, as well as their attitude towards one another, have varied from age to age: but the essential structure of society has never altered. Even after enormous upheavals and seemingly irrevocable changes, the same pattern has always reasserted itself, just as a gyroscope will always return to equilibrium, however far it is pushed one way or the other. The aims of these three groups are entirely irreconcilable."


From: General Kehrmeyer
To: Fellow Americans
Re: General Elections

Fellow Americans;

Thank you for your patience during this trying and historic time. I am pleased to announce that the Country is now relatively stable. In keeping with my pledge, the transition to a representative republic is on schedule. Voter eligibly cards have been authorized for issue to lien-free landowners through systems established by your state representatives. The 115th Congress will be seated on schedule and, God willing, the 46th President will relieve me in turn.

For those needing assistance, the Regional Distribution Centers are at your disposal. Contact your local government officials for locations.

God Bless the United States of America.

Very Respectfully;

General Kehrmeyer

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Man

Radical Muslims are those who voice the teachings of the Qu’ran. Radical Muslims are bad.

Moderate Muslims are those who pray five times a day and pledge allegiance to the man who dictated the Qu’ran. Moderate Muslims are good.

Iranian leadership is bad. Iranian people are good. Iran can’t have nuclear bombs. Can’t let Iran get bomb. Bad for legacy.

Pakistan leadership is good. Pakistani people are bad. That Bolton guy keeps telling me Pakistan is building a new nuclear reactor that can fuel dozens of new bombs each year. He won’t shut up. Can’t let bad Pakistani people overthrow good Pakistani leader. Must send F-16s. When he snubbed me in that book tour, he was just having a bad day.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Money Talks

As Benjamin Franklin walked out of the Constitutional Convention, he was approached by a group of citizens asking what kind of government the delegates had created. His answer:

"A Republic, if you can keep it."

From 1776 to 1830, one state after another lifted the requirement for voters to own lien-free real estate. In 1870, voting rights became colorblind (not necessarily a bad idea). In 1920, women were allowed to vote. Within a few election cycles, the electorate saw fit to have the government pay for the care of the downtrodden.

Today, estimates of the unfunded American liabilities range from $50 trillion (grandfather report link below), $60 trillion (USA Today), and $70 trillion (Senator Coburn). Rising by $3 trillion each year and accelerating. To put this in perspective, the debt is roughly equal to every American’s paycheck for the next five years. Total home equity in the United States is around $10 trillion. The end game is an economic depression that will make the one from the 1930s look mild.

The Founding Fathers have proven that a democracy with universal but restricted voting rights can thrive. Our last few generations is in the process of proving that Plato’s and President Madison’s premise that a democracy with universal, unrestricted voting rights is destined to end violently.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Another Trip to the Senator's Office

Presenting the Regional Representative with a letter questioning why we are allocating resources to illegal aliens when we already have $70 trillion in unfunded liabilities, rising by $3 trillion per year:

Regional Representative: “Well, the War in Iraq is stressing our budget.”

Me: “No its not, we spend $166 million per day in Iraq but incur $9 billion per day in unfunded liabilities.”

Regional Representative (looking puzzled): “Hmm, I’ll ask the Senator about that.”

Friday, June 1, 2007

What Is Going On?

There is only one thing more remarkable than this Presidential Directive, authorizing the open-ended suspension of the Constitution in the case of a self-declared emergency.

The fact that nobody is talking about it.